i just want to get high and be invisible so i can walk around and just laugh at everything and everyone.

i miss you a little bit.

no, not you.

YOU.

:-\

it feels weird, but i kinda like that.
smooooochies

why won't this stop?

i'm a depressing person.

my boyfriend and i are moving in together! i couldn't be happier!

dear live journal:

sorry for the neglect, i've been quite busy doing some growin' up as well as my fair share of growin' down.
for example-
1. i have a full-fledged unofficial live in boyfriend of about 7 months.
2. i have started taking birth control, so like, good news, i'm babyfree!
3. i just paid my car insurance.
4. i'm about to cook my boyfriend a real dinner, not ramen!

however, on the other hand:

1. i've been playing neopets
2. i quit my job.
3. i really like candy, cartoons, and puppies. i'm pretty much a pedophile's legal wet dream.

so anyway, i ate mushrooms a few nights ago with some friends. i think it's safe to say that that was quite possibly one of the worst nights of my life. i was so sandy, sweaty, greasy, filthy and i just felt like swallowing my tongue. i promise next time i'll totally do the babysitting.

anyway, i'm gonna go start dinner, because if it isn't on the table when will gets home he's going to beat the shit out of me and i'll have to sleep on the floor again. no, just kidding. really.

my glasses are constantly loose, which causes them to fall off of my face so easily, like if i break too sudden or something. when i get them tightened (which only lasts a few weeks till they loosen up again) it feels so good and secure that i get sexually aroused. i'm talkin drenched. not moist. like a fuckin rain forest.

it just really sucks to know that you wouldn't do things for me that i would, without question, do for you. it really sucks bad.

It's been about two years since everything happened. I can't believe how much has changed. I can't believe where I am today, I would have never imagined. I'm still constantly stressed out and anxious, but I guess it's okay. I'm really happy with my boyfriend, he is quite possibly one of my favorite people in the world. I have never felt so understood by anyone before, everything just comes easy. Plus, he has sex with me while the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards is on in the background (and then watches it with me after.)

pretty much it.

1. JC chazes is a total tool. i hate how he criticizes people on america's best dance crew. bro seriously like, you could have gone justin's route and been totally popular. you could have even gone the rest of the group's route and gone into hiding... but you took it to an extreme- you made an album and put tara reid in your first singles video. sweet. way to go you fucking douche bag.
2. i really wish i could have been born asian. the girls in the asian dance group are so goddamn cute and they seriously have the BEST legs i have ever seen. 2die4.
3. blake sennett and winona ryder are dating and that makes me really sad. i really do not like her, i think she is a major twat. i wish he would date someone else. someone like me =[
4. someone finally bought the location of the old beverly hills cafe. alice and i saw a 'now hiring' sign the other day. and then i got a call this morning. it was the new owner, he asked me if i wanted to work for him. it's going to be a greek-american style place. i don't know. maybe?

5. i love dancing.

6. i miss dancing with brooke zalis.

fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you

seriously bro

fuck you!!!!!!!!!!

i get myself into the dumbest fucking situations.

i might not be the most motivated, goal oriented, ambitious girl in the world; but i am fucking proud of myself.

i need to get my growing up on.

PS. i've recently realized how much i like reduced fat milk. i take this as a small sign of maturity.

i am constantly stressed out and anxious. i have never wanted to leave somewhere so much in my entire life.


why won't this go away?

i really believe that most people so intensely lack personality and therefore will never truly find love.

so far, 2008 has brought me is the lack of healthcare and a boyfriend.

i've never been so afraid of getting an infection or so happy with someone in my life.

i'm pretty sick of sofla, ready to leave!

kpeace!

i REALLY fucked up. bad.

i just want to say that although i might seem like the biggest negative nancy, i really do try and see the bright side of everything and i really do learn from my mistakes.

with that being said, i am going to put forth the effort that it takes to meet people and make friends.
i really kinda need some.
i suppose it'll be much easier if/when i go to back to bcc.
plus i'll be going with alice...
which means well...
some teacher is going to be pretty miserable.

i've got to get ready for work.
so here's to good tippers and half assin' sidework!

peace babies.